As I've aged, I
have become kinder to myself, and less critical of self. I've become my own
friend.
We have seen too many dear friends leave this
world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with
aging.
Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or
play, on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with
myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50, 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost
love, I will.
I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is
stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I
choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again,
some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the
important things.
Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How
can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers,
or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But, broken hearts are
what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken,
is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I'm so blessed to have lived long enough to have my
hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep
grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before
their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You
care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've
even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It
has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live
forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could
have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single
day (if I feel like it).
