Wednesday, April 4, 2012

As I've Aged...


As I've aged, I have become kinder to myself, and less critical of self. I've become my own friend.

We have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play, on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50, 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But, broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I'm so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Chemo~


Didn't want to get up out of bed for anything.  But I had my chemo today.  I was dress and ready early and wanted to eat a good meal before the treatment so I stopped at Steak and Shake and had a lunch.  Then I went to Chemo.  Linda forgot to tell me on the phone that I would probably sleep and may need someone to drive me home.  So I did sleep a bit and so Hans called Adrian to give him a ride to the hospital to get me.  His timing was perfect.  I came home and slept more after I ate.  Hans had dinner ready for me.  

Got up in time for my online class.  Then I was up the rest of the night.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Chemo Postponed.


Went to breakfast at Paragon.  Seen Sandy from my cancer group there.  Such a nice lady.

Went to the viewing of Hans' friend from work that passed away.  It was set up very nicely.

Had a Chemo appointment today but being there were no doctor's on staff at my appointment time and it was the first of the new treatment, it was postponed till Tuesday @ 12:40 pm.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Date With River~






Had a date with my grandson River.  We had such a great time.  We had lunch at TGI Friday and then we went to the Monster Mini Golf, then to Orange Leaf (ice cream place), then to the pet shop.  Our last stop was the half price book store and River got a few good comic books.  When we went home to my house he wanted to do a craft.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Homework done, Quiz Done~


Turned in all my papers leaving the weekend freed up. I also took the quiz and missed 4 out of 25, but I will do better next time. They were tricky questions. I like that I can review my answers and learn the proper one. It is pretty cool. I still don't know the result of my last MOD where I screwed it up on the final. Oh well. Now to start on the next chapter after I have a great weekend.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Busy Day~


Today was a busy day.  I got up earlier than I had been...by 8am I was in the shower and getting ready for the day.  Hans got off early for an appointment I was suppose to have that ended up being cancelled by the surgeon's office, so we went to breakfast at Paragon.  Yum.  Had a Greek Omelet.  Then did some shopping around for a gizmo that would turn the front of the bathroom sink into a storage space for the toothpaste or whatever.  I also finally picked up a shelf to put in the office so I can finally clean it up and get stuff off the floor.  Then off to the Oncologist to see about resuming my chemo.  I start back again on Monday.  By 6 pm I was wiped out and fell asleep till 10 pm.  Just can't do as much as I used too.  Now to study more.  All my assignments that are due today have been done and turned in. Cancer won't stop me from doing the things I need to do.

Monday, March 26, 2012

My husband, My hero~


My husband is my hero. Fixed my wifi and internet issues. Bought a new router as well. The 1st one just wasn't strong enough. Now even the Youtube works great. I couldn't get that to work hooked up to the first one. I'm stoked. Now back to homework. Got an overall B for last week's work.